You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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