Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
