??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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