We're facebook friends in real life
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"