the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.