like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
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If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
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i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked