found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong