When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?