Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
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the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
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Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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