i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
