We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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