in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
