awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
