the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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