My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
