My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
