I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
