yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
