Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
