Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
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If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
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It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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