Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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