Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.