I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
i think my cat just said my name.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation