party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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