Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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