we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
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I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
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