We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
