operation have a gay friend backfired
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
