i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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