the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Even the bartender felt bad for me
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize