I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
