i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
My vagina just clenched in fear
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
