Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
where does the pee come out of this thing
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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