Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
