New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize