It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
