Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
