what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
