Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
