I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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