Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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