of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
