So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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