Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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