dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
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