he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
