Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Sorry about my life...
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
