Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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