..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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