Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
