Soap is not a condiment
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize