they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
