Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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