Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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