dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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