Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
