bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
