You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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