Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
