she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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